Hello world!

I’m so glad to be here!! I don’t know how much I have to say to the world, but I’m just so grateful these past few days for all of the good things that envelope my life. My relationship with God, my spiritual family, my natural family, my job, my house, I could really go on and on! I am completely blessed, inside and out. Early this week our church had a 3 day period of extended prayer and fasting and there has been an incredible shifting in the atmosphere even more that what I had anticipated!

This is but a taste of the goodness to come and personally, I’m overwhelmed by the thought of that! If it gets any better, I just may not be able to stand it!!

Conflict is painful but necessary

I’ve been reading a popular fiction series over the past several weeks and I have to admit I’m quite engrossed by it. I used to read a lot of fiction but somehow over the years, I’ve gotten away from it and just recently I’ve been rediscovering how much I’ve missed reading it. I’m staying up till all hours of the night (which is not me!) because I feel compelled to keep reading. I just have to know what happens, how everything is going to turn out in the end!

As I began the second book of the series, something really devastating happened to the lead character and being the emotionally cathartic person I am, I felt every bit of pain and agony right along with her. It was excruciating at one point and I didn’t even know if I could keep reading. It was heartbreaking for me to continue but finally I did push through it because I had this deeply buried hope that it would somehow get better although I had no assurance that was going to happen.

At first I was angry with the storyline and the writer for making me go through this anguish, but by the end of the book, the storyline took an unexpected turn and I was elated by the end! I’ve been pondering my reaction to the whole thing and as I thought through the alternatives, I realized that although it was so painful, the conflict in this story was absolutely necessary. If the agonizing separation hadn’t occured there would be no joyful reunion. If the writer had left this part out of the story, I would have probably gotten bored and put the book down. All good stories have this ebb and flow of emotions. That’s why we love them! Adversity, challenges and conflict are absolutely essential. The excruciating part is that we don’t always know how it will turn out in the end. What if we don’t like the ending? That’s where anxiety and stress occur.

Whether in books or real life, conflict and struggle must come. It’s the pain and sadness that reminds us we’re human. I know the journey is hard sometimes but the difficulty and struggles are what make it good! I never consciously volunteer for the pain, but I’m finding there’s an underlying joy in the fact that if it starts to get bad, then it can only get better. And I know that is an inevitability!

Moving

My husband and I are in the process of buying a new house. Actually, we’re only 2 short weeks away from settlement!!  It has all happened so quickly and right now I’m feverishly packing up things in our existing house to move to the new one.  Up until now I have been so focused on the thrill and excitement of moving to a new place, but now all of a sudden as I’ve been sorting through things and taking pictures off the wall, I’ve found a new, unexpected emotion surfacing.

I’ve been wanting to move from our house for a little while now, but now that the time has actually come, I’m starting to feel quite nostalgic about the memories and the ten years we’ve spent on Turner Drive. I can’t believe it, but I actually started crying last evening as we moved boxes into a moving trailer and I began looking at the empty walls of our house.  I’m actually going to really miss this house! So many wonderful memories  and things have taken place there.

The streets names where we we’ve lived have been spiritually significant for us.  God is a territorial God and we’ve learned over the years that names and land are very important things to consider. We originally lived on Longstreet Drive named after General Longstreet of the Civil War. We definitely encountered many battles at that address, in fact at one point we were 24 hours away from an official divorce. Moving to Turner Drive actually marked a huge “turning point” in our marriage as husband and wife.   Now we’re moving to Kunkle Drive and I bet you’re wondering what significance that has. Well, we checked it out first thing as we were making our decision to move there. When we googled the name Kunkle and the number one thing that popped up  was that Kunkle is the nation’s leading manufacturer of safety and relief valves. They are also well known for their excellent quality. That was enough proof for us!

I am very happy that we’re moving, but I will miss the old  house too and I hope and pray it will be a good turning point for the next family that moves there!

Breakthrough!

You know there are so many books out there on this topic in the Christian market.  If you’ve been to church at all, you’ve probably heard a ton of sermons in your life  focused on this subject, encouraging you to just hang in there, it will soon get better. Sometimes you have to wonder if you actually know the real meaning of the word “soon”. Then you start second guessing everything, like maybe I’m not praying enough, or maybe I should be fasting, or any other religious activity that you can conjure up at the moment.

You know what I’ve found is the “real” key to breakthrough… it’s simply desperation. When we’re completely desperate, we stop trying to do it ourselves, because we’ve already tried that and it doesn’t work! At that point, we get very ‘real’ and honest with ourselves… and God and feebly utter something like “help! I can’t do this anymore”. And Voila! Breakthrough finally comes!

I know this sounds more like break down than breakthrough, but I think that’s really it. We do have to break down in order to breakthrough. We have to give up our self sufficient ways and come to a place of utter humility.

James 4 talks about this as does 1 Peter 5:5-6:

“God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.

Notice the Scripture isn’t talking about satan opposing us like most of the books on breakthrough claim. It’s actually God opposing the pride within us that holds us back from what we’re really seeking.  I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for break down if it means God gets to lift me up! Breakthrough here I come!!

Sparkle

Yes I’m still talking about this movie! Don’t worry this is the last one (I think). At one point in the film, Mahoney sees a sign on the subway posing the question “Do you have a sparkle?” It floors her.  Later she asks the mutant what he sees when he looks at her. She wants to know if he sees a sparkle, “Like something reflective of something bigger that’s trying to get out.” Do you ever wonder what people see when they look at you?

Phillipians 2:14-16 has always been an especially favorite passage of scripture for me. “Do everything without complaining or arguing so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation in which you shine like stars as you hold out the word of life.”  Wow, that sounds so simple. If I could do everything without complaining or arguing I would be blameless and pure. But, have you ever tried to go even one day without complaining or arguing? It’s definitely not simple.

At the end of the movie, the accountant (aka doubter) finally begins to believe. He gets the revelation that it’s Mahoney’s faith that makes the store come to life. He tells her “It’s you, Mahoney. What you need to believe is not the cube and it’s not the store and it’s not me. What you need to believe in is you.” And with that realization she finally begins to sparkle! Everything comes to life in the store at her direction. It’s magical!!

I don’t know about you, but I want to create and design and sparkle all over this God breathed, God given earth! That’s what We’ve been created for and that’s what He’s been waiting for along with the entire earth! It’s been groaning long enough don’t you think?

Thank you Zachary Helm for giving me a visual for this amazing spiritual truth!! I will be forever grateful!

I'm not ready!

Have you watched the movie yet? What are you waiting for?!

I think I connect with the main character Mahoney more in this sentiment than anything else. I feel in my own life that God is asking me to begin running the store because He’s leaving and I feel like I’m not ready! I know He never “really” leaves me, but in essence He wants me to mature and not be coddled anymore and frankly, that makes me sad. There’s a bit of irony in it all. I need to have the faith and trust of a child and yet I also need the maturity and confidence of a son that when my Father is away I manage things consistent with His ways and nature. I’m sure the disciples felt exactly the same way when Jesus was preparing them for his death. I’m sure they didn’t feel capable or ready in any sense to carry on the ministry without him. They believed in him and his ability to do great things, but they did not believe that they could do great things, let alone, greater things.

In the movie, Mr. Magorium tells Mahoney,”I’m not asking for you to be happy that I must go. I’m only asking that you turn the page, continue reading and let the next story begin. And if anyone ever asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder and end it with a simple and modest He died.”

Next he speaks one of the most powerful lines in the entire movie. “Your life is an occasion. Rise to it!” Can’t you just imagine Jesus holding your face in His hands and speaking those words into your life?! It’s like He’s saying, don’t run away from your destiny, you were born for this!  Don’t cower in fear you. If you don’t do it, who will?!  When given the chance to dance, don’t turn it down thinking someone else could do it better. You’re the one the song was written for! Wow! It’s so stunning to come to grips with how little we think of ourselves and the impact of our lives in light of the unimaginable worth and value that our Father places on both. “Your life is an occasion! Rise to it!”

what's wrong with "just"?

I’ve now watched Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium about 5 times and I’m still not sick of watching it! It continues to move me and challenge my thinking.

At one point in the film, Henry, the mutant accountant (aka unbeliever, doubter, realist), wants to know what the deal is with the store, so he asks Mahoney. She tells him it’s magic (for those religious folks out there, if the word “magic” is too offensive, you can substitute “supernatural” in it’s place throughout the movie if it makes you feel better) In response he says “It’s just a toy store”.  Mahoney replies”You’re a ‘just’ guy.” You walk around thinking “It’s ‘just’ a store. It’s ‘just’ a bench. It’s ‘just’ a tree. It’s ‘just’ what it is, nothing more.”

Are you a “just” guy? I have to admit, I sometimes fall into this trap myself. I look at things and size them up based on what I believe is reality. The problem is, if only I would be open to more, there’s so much more to be seen and experienced in the places I go and with the people I meet. I also find myself falling into the trap of saying “just” prayers too. God would you “just” do this or that. He is capable of so much more, but my language and expression limits Him. Our prayers and words are the vehicle for His presence and power to come crashing into our “reality” turning it inside out. The problem with “just” is that it limits potential in everyone. We have to kick that word out of our vocabulary, but more importantly, we need to eradicate it from our thinking!

God can do more than we can hope, ask or think, but will He?

Stuck

Have you ever felt “stuck”? I’m talking like in your personal or spiritual life. You have this feeling like you’re supposed to be more than you are, but instead of moving forward in your life you’ve taken about ten steps backward. It’s probably one of the most frustrating places to be. I’ve been feeling this way lately especially in my spiritual life. It seems like it used to be so easy for me to hear from God and lately, no matter what I do, I’ve just been frustrated. Instead of hearing clearer, I’m more confused than ever.

Back to my new favorite prophetic movie Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium. Molly Mahoney in the movie says “I’m stuck, as a person. Remember when I was a little girl and I could play Rachmaninoff’s 2nd piano concerto and everyone was talking about my potential? Well, I am 23 now and everyone’s still talking about my potential. But if you asked me to play you the song I know best, I’ll still play Rachmaninoff’s 2nd.”

Mr. Magorium suggests that she stun the world with Molly Mahoney’s first but she can’t move past her blockage. He gives her the congreve cube (a block of wood). He holds her face in his hands and says “All I will say is this, with faith, love, this block and an accounting mutant, you may find yourself somewhere you’ve never imagined.” He can obviously see the future, but she cannot and it only puzzles her.

I find myself in that puzzled state. Instead of answering my questions of direction and purpose directly, I just get a puzzle to figure out. Why can’t I just get a straight answer?! Although I can’t see it yet, I’m sure that is the whole point. The journey and struggle to understand are what will eventually birth the faith and love I need for next season I’m so anxious to enter. This morning while I was being completely real with God, balling my eyes out, he gently took my face in His hands and told me that I was not as far behind as I have imagined. Although I feel like I’m on the side lines, apparently I’m in the middle of an adventure. I just need to relax and enjoy the journey!

Faith Like a Child

A Few years ago, I heard Steve Witt talking about how God is using movies to massage the hearts of people to know and understand Him. I couldn’t agree more. I got this amazing movie for Christmas called Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium. If you’ve haven’t seen it yet, you need to! First, let me preface this by saying that I know the writer probably had no intention of creating this scriptural parallel or conveying this deep spiritual connection in his script, however, that’s what makes it even more intriguing and wonderful! As I watched the movie for the first time, it moved me deeply, but I wasn’t exactly sure why. I thought it was just the “Fatherly” love that Mr. Magorium showed his young apprentice throughout the film that reminded me so much of  my relationship with my Father. However, on second viewing, I realized it was so much more than that.  I literally cannot watch this movie without crying, but not because it’s sad. There is such a deep calling to my spirit through the dialogue and images in the movie that my heart can hardly stand it.

A young boy narrates throughout the movie and he begins by describing the main character Molly Mahoney. When she was younger everyone thought she was a brilliant pianist and she believed them, but now that she was grown up she wasn’t so sure. He muses,”I don’t know why grown ups don’t believe what they did when they were kids. I mean, aren’t they supposed to be smarter?” This line represents a major theme that runs throughout the entire movie. If only we could have the faith of a child. Faith that believes the greatness within without questioning or doubting. Faith that believes that nothing is out of our reach, all we need is a running start. What miracles and  wonders would be manifested if only we saw everything we encounter in this life through the eyes of faith! Jesus said in Luke 18:17, “I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” It seems so obvious, but more and more I’m realizing the truth and depth of that verse. We cannot enter into God’s manifested Kingdom here in this earthly realm until we cease all doubting and rationalizing and accept that what we see is really not all there is and that they way things appear is not the only reality.
I’ll continue this more in my next blog. There’s too much goodness in this movie to try to squeeze it all in right now.