Stuck

Have you ever felt “stuck”? I’m talking like in your personal or spiritual life. You have this feeling like you’re supposed to be more than you are, but instead of moving forward in your life you’ve taken about ten steps backward. It’s probably one of the most frustrating places to be. I’ve been feeling this way lately especially in my spiritual life. It seems like it used to be so easy for me to hear from God and lately, no matter what I do, I’ve just been frustrated. Instead of hearing clearer, I’m more confused than ever.

Back to my new favorite prophetic movie Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium. Molly Mahoney in the movie says “I’m stuck, as a person. Remember when I was a little girl and I could play Rachmaninoff’s 2nd piano concerto and everyone was talking about my potential? Well, I am 23 now and everyone’s still talking about my potential. But if you asked me to play you the song I know best, I’ll still play Rachmaninoff’s 2nd.”

Mr. Magorium suggests that she stun the world with Molly Mahoney’s first but she can’t move past her blockage. He gives her the congreve cube (a block of wood). He holds her face in his hands and says “All I will say is this, with faith, love, this block and an accounting mutant, you may find yourself somewhere you’ve never imagined.” He can obviously see the future, but she cannot and it only puzzles her.

I find myself in that puzzled state. Instead of answering my questions of direction and purpose directly, I just get a puzzle to figure out. Why can’t I just get a straight answer?! Although I can’t see it yet, I’m sure that is the whole point. The journey and struggle to understand are what will eventually birth the faith and love I need for next season I’m so anxious to enter. This morning while I was being completely real with God, balling my eyes out, he gently took my face in His hands and told me that I was not as far behind as I have imagined. Although I feel like I’m on the side lines, apparently I’m in the middle of an adventure. I just need to relax and enjoy the journey!

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